Category: Random Shit

DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS

5.0 out of 5 stars

24 Jan 2012

By Andrew

Being a loose cannon who does not play by the rules the first thing I did was ignore the warning and smear this all over my knob and bollocks. The bollocks I knew and loved are gone now. In their place is a maroon coloured bag of agony which sends stabs of pain up my body every time it grazes against my thigh or an article of clothing. I am suffering so that you don’t have to. Heed my lesson. DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS.

(I am giving this product a 5 because despite the fact that I think my bollocks might fall off, they are now completely hairless.)

Dear Jim,

Please paint me a picture of Brian Blessed riding a Henry hoover alongside D’n’B DJ Goldie on a Dyson. They are racing on the Mario kart level rainbow road and are both drunk on white ace cider.

Thanks,

Tommy

Haaaaaa! Amaaaazing site this – the premise is simple:

“I am here to make your wildest dreams a reality using nothing but Microsoft Paint (no tablets, no touch ups). Ask me to paint anything you wish and I will try no matter how specific or surreal your demands. While there aren’t enough hours in the day to physically paint every suggestion I will consider them all. Bonus points for originality and humour. Use your imagination!”

http://jimllpaintit.tumblr.com/

https://www.facebook.com/JimllPaintIt